Five Ballet Weddings From Hell

We hear you. You can’t stand the buzz about a “certain wedding” anymore. Everywhere you look, it’s all about fairy-tale endings, cheese and romance. You don’t care whether the bride will be wearing vintage McQueen, nor about who made it to the Queen’s private party. You refuse to watch the populist media coverage or to collect made-in-china tacky souvenirs. Except you may tune into Twitter to see what the Fug Girls are saying. Or you might follow their liveblog (we confess we will!), after all, they are calling the big event The Royal Fugging.

Well, look no further than this post for the perfect antidote: a bit of escapism and Schadenfreude via “Five Ballet Weddings From Hell”

La Bayadère - Spoiled rich brat Gamzatti wants hunky warrior Solor all for herself. But dead rival Nikiya still manages to show up and spoil Gam’s big day:

Les Noces - Has a bride ever looked less jubilant?

Lilac Garden - Perfectly captures the mood of resignation of a bride and groom who are entering into a marriage of convenience:

Mayerling - The ultimate anti-fairytale ballet, with a terrifying wedding night to match. We shiver!

Ondine - Sealed with a kiss. And then he dies:

Thanks to everyone on Twitter who contributed to this list!

Likes ballets that taste like 85% cocoa: pure, extra bitter, dark or intense. Her favorites are La Sylphide, Manon, Mayerling, Ondine, Symphonic Variations and McGregor's Chroma. A self-confessed Alexei Ratmansky devotee, she chases his ballets around the globe. Non ballet: literature, theatre, opera, rock, art, food, travel, fashion, translating and interpreting.

3 Comments

  • May 6, 2011

    Manhattnik

    I guess we don’t actually see Edward II get married? Too bad; think of the possibilities!

  • April 30, 2011

    La Darina

    How about the The Fountain of Bakhchisarai? It all ends in tears ;)

    And another Pushkin-based ballet… Onegin as it covers more or less the same territory as Lilac Garden!

  • April 29, 2011

    Stella

    The wedding of Odette and Prince Siegfried in Graeme Murphy’s Swan Lake. All is going well until the Prince’s old mistress, the Baroness von Rothbart, shows up (who is also favoured by the Queen over Odette), spoils the party, and after a pas de trois and some crazy fouettes, poor Odette is carted off to the looney asylum. It’s one of the Australian Ballet’s most popular shows http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyy5qgyqlsY